Parenting Can Be A Pain in the Back!

Recently a client wrote to let me know her back was aching (yet again). It came and went like the wind. And interestingly, in that same letter she was complaining how her son, John, had become a monster (yet again). He had been so sweet and kind and felt like she was back to square one in their relationship.

As I tested her “truth” with each line she wrote, something interesting revealed itself. What I brought to her attention was that John did not start this process. John allowed her to see the process. John was not creating the negativity; he was responding to her negativity.

When John was sweet and kind and she was pain free, she was sweet and kind toward John. When John reverted to monster status, she was in monster status, with impatience and anger toward his every move. Hence, her back ache was simply a reminder that she was angry and John was simply mirroring her own emotional imbalances.

This is a contract we make with our children at the moment of their conception. They agree to come to us reflecting back our moods, our pains, our shortcomings and in that moment of reflection, we have an opportunity to change us. As we change by recognizing our “self”, they change with us. It is a miraculous gift intended to help everyone in the family heal at a very spiritual level.

When we choose to stop blaming our children for our own imbalances and instead use that same energy to change our “self” miracles happen. As I become more happy, content and loving with me, the same becomes true for my children. And this energy has no bearing on their ages or where they live. We affect one another over time and distance. So consciously, if I desire my children to be happy, content and loving, I must become that myself.

As soon as Kathy stopped the blame and took responsibility for her own impatience with John, everything changed. Her back ache disappeared and John settled back into his sweet and loving disposition. The ability to see energy and more importantly change energy is a miracle in itself.